Oh! the accusing thoughts racing through Moses’ head! His impulsive rage, and murder, became known to Pharaoh by the next day and fear consumed him. He literally ran for his life into the backside of the wilderness. There, once his running stopped, the dark thoughts started up again, condemning him for his foolishness, for his stupidity at throwing away all the princely privilege he had known in Pharaoh’s court for all his 40 years, for failing to bring even the slightest encouragement to his fellow Jews, for possibly making the hardships of his people worse still! Finally, he came to believe that he, personally, was a total failure, now destined to do nothing more than live out his days hiding in the desert, no luxuries of the court around him, no servants, no cultural riches, only backbreaking toil for which he had not the merest preparation.
His story is picked up again 40 years later. Moses is now a shepherd, the son-in-law of Jethro, the priest of Midian. He lives with his regrets and a sense of defeat, of failure. Outwardly, he maintains a stoic demeanor, but inwardly is haunted by his past, that fateful day when emotions surged and took over, taking a life, ruining him, the Prince of Egypt, forever.
Now, here’s the plot-altering, life-reordering, confidence-birthing, God intervention in Moses’ life. Despite his sin, God initiates an in-depth soul healing, so unexpected, so complete, in fact, God heals 40 years of Moses’ inner self-condemnations and accumulated ‘reasons’ he had disqualified himself from any and all service! (I wonder if his communications difficulties have developed since his arrival in the desert). Each of Moses’ protests against God’s ‘calling’ are instantly met with God’s assurances! I picture a very different Moses departing ‘his desert’ for Egypt, the source of his shame and the place of his restoration to sonship – and leadership! PD
