I’m no doctor and am known to be a tad squeamish about all things medical, but I can’t help wondering what bodily systems were activated inside the disciples last week. They stood by as Jesus was betrayed – by one of their very own! They helplessly watched as their Lord was treated as a common criminal. Worse, he was mercilessly humiliated and mocked. Then, the lies, the jeering and the cheering of the crowd. Finally seeing him on the cross and dying. And then, in a few short hours it was Sabbath. A most bitter Sabbath. Mourning, terrified of the religious rulers, directionless in the world, futures snuffed out like candles in a breeze. When, on the first day of the week, cruel rumors started flying around that Jesus was alive again, it must have felt like a gravestone had been rolled over them. Depleted of energy, too distraught even to weep, weary, too weary, even to hope or believe. Every negative emotion vying for attention – disappointment, rage, terror, despair.
In this shattered state, I think it not at all surprising that even seeing Jesus with their own eyes demanded more ‘seeing’ from them than they were able. There would have been profound shock, a stunned disbelief (In a loosely similar situation, we, too, might be heard saying, ‘I can’t believe it!’) Even the initial stirrings of hope would have felt like that buzzy, pins and needles return of circulation to a sleepy limb or that viselike ‘brain freeze’ when too avidly enjoying your dark chocolate raspberry ice cream.
Maybe Jesus lovingly delayed his much-awaited return to his Father for another forty days to allow for a period of adjustment for his disciples. As well, I think he generously revisited his teachings so they’d now be able to receive in the context of the new sin-and-death-defeated reality. Their multiplied times of intimate fellowship must have begun the healing of their hearts and their emotions and nudged them a wee bit closer to being prepared for the Kingdom work ahead of them.
Last week was the horribilis hebdomada -the week to end all weeks. This week and the weeks that follow have the disciples gradually opening the eyes of their hearts to discover keys to mysteries they’d never seen. They’re still at the stage of relying on their own abilities to take on the enormous task being set out before them, but they are learning – and leaning more and more on Jesus and on their faith in him. Just like us. PD
