Think with me, putting ourselves in the place of the disciples. Jesus, the last they had seen him, hanging on the cross, beaten unrecognizable, just barely alive. He died and was quickly buried in a tomb belonging to Joseph of Arimathea. Then, three days later, his tomb empty, angels announcing that he was alive. He ‘appeared’ among them without using a doorway, then disappeared in the same way. Just poof. He looked the same, kinda. There was no mention of marks of his beatings, just the already-healed nail- and spear-scars. He seemed intent on restoring his relationship with them. He continued to teach as before.
I can imagine the disciples being too soul weary after the events around Jesus’ arrest, trial, crucifixion and death to dare hope anything for the future. Their destroyed morale, their guilt, their grief, were all suddenly suspended, leaving them with PTSD. They were in the middle of forty bonus days with Jesus, although I’m sure they didn’t perceive a timeline. Jesus apparently still wanted them to stay together, but the goal of doing that appeared pretty murky, their failure taunting them, hissing in their ears.
But Jesus was displaying an urgency in his teachings, desperate that they would feel equipped and ready to go. The fullness of his relationship to the Father had to have been one of his top priorities. The fullness of his royal authority, too. But was Jesus seeing any lights going on in them, any inkling of his purposes for them? As Jesus’ time of departure drew close, was he able to see even the slightest glimmer of understanding in his precious band with whom he had shared his life with these past years?
Would he have seen it in us had we been with him? PD
