In a quiet moment, if someone were to ask me what I was thinking about, I’d be apt to say ‘nothing.’ What I’d mean, of course, is nothing that I’m conscious of. Imagine if it were possible (and given our tech-savvy world, it may one day be) to be given a 50-page printout of everything I’ve thought, say, in the first three hours of wakefulness. I’m sure It would be amazing, the scope of all that passed through my gray matter. More amazing would be how much of it came and went without registering in my consciousness. I might even want to deny that some of that content was mine! No, I’m sure I’d want to hit the delete button in some places! I’d probably scan through to see how much space was given to an awareness of the presence of Jesus with me, hoping that the majority – well, OK, 50%, um, 30%? a tithe?? was focused on him.
As Jesus’ disciple, one element of this discipline is to be his learner, apprenticing myself to him, growing more and more like him as I reflect his values, his priorities, his love – and his thoughts. God told Joshua not to be afraid as He would always be with him, Deuteronomy 31:6,8. Jesus told his disciples the same thing, that he would always be with them, day after day after day until the end of the age, Matthew 28:20. The writer to the Hebrews reiterated this promise like this: “I will never leave you alone, never! And I will not loosen my grip on your life!”
The contemporary buzzword, ‘mindfulness,’ expresses itself in a multiplicity of ways. Various styles of meditation use it. It’s unfortunate that, because of its links to non-Christian practices, it is often rejected wholesale. By itself, it recommends paying attention to what we’re paying attention to. Further, it includes staying present in the moment (this is not a simple exercise as every middle schooler and high schooler knows as they peer longingly out the classroom window on a beautiful spring day). We all know what it’s like when someone is in conversation with us while our minds are scrambling to solve an unrelated problem, engaged in anxious thoughts about an unrelated relationship, worried about our finances, being late for the next appointment. The next appointment was my issue after teaching a piano lesson in a private home. The parent (rarely my student who had long ago disappeared) was chatting about this and that, the weather, their vacation . . . Meanwhile, I’m hoping not to get stuck in the snow in their steep, poorly shoveled driveway.
So here’s the main problem. Because Jesus is always with me, I need to ask myself, am I always with him? If I’m pre-occupied while he’s with me, it’s at best rude, and, in the worst case scenario, an ignoring of the very One who has given me this life I enjoy! This life with all the abundance of gifts. This life full of the promise of love and forgiveness and grace. What a blessing that Jesus, like every middle school and high school teacher, is aware of our weaknesses, our daydreaming, our choosing the delicious thoughts of an afternoon at the beach over the gripping chemistry lesson being presented (Sorry, Mr. Young). PD
